When Bella was young, I really had a hard time accepting that she didn't want to snuggle with me. I used to daydream about how nice it would be for her to sleep in bed with me. Well, I got to fufill my dreams with Lulu, who LOVES to snuggle and thinks that sleeping in bed is the greatest thing in the world. Be careful what you wish for, as now, I would give anything to get that darn mutt out of my bed!
Originally, the plan was that Lulu could get in bed as soon as it was light outside. Yes, I know that this is a faulty plan since we could never quite effectively communicate this idea to her. All she understood was, "Sweet, now I'm allowed on the bed." Little by little, she began jumping in bed at an earlier time. Sometimes she was like a ninja and neither of us even heard/felt her, while other times she would land on some part of my body, causing me to curse her, visions of newly forming bruises floating through my head while trying to fall back asleep.
Lately, her bed interloping has become even more brazen, as if it is her God-given right. At some point during the night, I will usually wake up freezing cold, as the covers have been pulled off of me. I will be relegated to the tiniest little edge of the bed, alarmingly close to toppling off the side and Lulu will have her ENTIRE body smushed into me as if she is trying to accomplish this final feat.
What is most interesting about the whole situation is the fact that Lulu has somehow acquired the ability to transform her 65 pounds into at least 250 pounds of lead weight. I have about as much success moving her when she is splayed out on the bed as I would trying to pull a semi-truck with one of those straps around my forehead. Also somewhat bothersome is waking up with your dog's face less than 1" from your own, her nose pressed against yours, as if performing some odd form of doggie nose-to-nose resuscitation. Move your nose, she moves hers. Seriously, it's kind of weird.
I decided that I just couldn't take it anymore and she needed to sleep in her own bed so, the other night, we started out with her in her bed. At about midnight, I woke up to a tiny pathetic little whine. I turned on the light and Lulu was sitting sweetly right by the bed looking at me with the saddest little puppy dog expression. Her little eyes could barely stay open and she put one paw on the bed and let out a tiny whimper. I screamed as loud as I could, "GET IN YOUR BED! NOW!" and she headed back to her bed and hasn't tried to get in our bed since. Yeah, so anyways, that is my dream version. What really happened was that I was a complete pushover and let the little punk back in bed. She has been bugging the bejesus out of me every night since.
4 comments:
I could have written this post almost word for word... welcome to my life. You will never get another good nights sleep, until you are divorced and the dog{in my case, Luna}gets half of the bed. So if you stay married, hopefully that will work out for you, learn to enjoy your meager sliver of the bed !
Got turned on to your blog this evening by a mention in Sunny Day Happy Face.
Just wanted to tell you that your writing is laugh-out-loud joyful!
My guess is, life is only going to get more crowded in that bed! Have you considered swapping beds with Lulu?
Well, since I kind of like my husband, I will try and be more appreciative of what little bed I have. I'm a little afraid as of late though, as I keep catching Bella eying the bed, the cogs in her head trying to process if the comfort of the bed would be worth the trauma of having to be touched while in it. Please God No.
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