Dirty Bird

This is Lulu's favorite toy which we have named Dirty Bird. Dirty Bird was originally purchased for Bella but was apparently not quite up to her high standards and lived at the bottom of the toy pail. Somehow Dirty Bird didn't even rate being gutted and torn to shreds. We are not sure what kind of bird Dirty Bird is, but Lulu loves Dirty Bird. Somewhat similar to the stories of dogs that will nurse abandoned kittens, Lulu saw the potential in Dirty Bird as replacement for her dog mom . Since then, Lulu has spent countless hours nursing on Dirty Bird.

Dirty Bird must be nocturnal because it only comes out in the evening. After a long day of doing whatever crazy things Crazypants does, she will settle on her pillow with Dirty Bird. Thus begins the ritual. If you look closely, you can see the dirty, hard areas under the wings. This is where Lulu does her suckling. She kneads her paws as she literally sucks the fur under Dirty Bird's wings (see video below but please turn down your volume unless you just happen to be looking for some tips on how to live greener from "Living with Ed").

Suckling Dirty Bird's fur must be incredibly comforting to Lulu as, inevitably, her little paws start moving a little slower and her sweet eyes start getting droopy. Her head starts nodding and then she falls asleep with Dirty Bird still in her mouth, only to wake up and start the process over again. This is somewhat like the guy on the airplane who nods off then startles himself awake only to start nodding off again. Somewhat, but significantly cuter. This can go on for a REALLY long time until she finally gives in to sleep. At this point we all dance a jig and praise God that she is actually asleep and peace has been restored in the house.

As I am sure you can imagine, all this sucky sucky on poor Dirty Bird has taken it's toll. The bird is downright crusty. I mean hard crusty. When she is done, Dirty Bird looks like it could be the poster bird for Excessive Bird Armpit Sweating Disorder. I have looked all over for a replacement bird but so far no luck. I have also tried to substitute newer, cuter, softer critters but alas, like Cindy Brady and Kitty Carryall, she won't be fooled by some imitation Dirty Bird. If anyone knows where to find a new, clean Dirty Bird, please let me know.